Five Times Jack Broke Sexual Harassment Rules
by IantojJackh
Summary: And the one or two Ianto broke. -I found this in the archive shortly after I started. I think you could a refresher on some of the rules, sir. Janto, all the way


**Title**: Ianto's Rules for Sexual Harassment in Workplace and How Jack Broke Five of Them and the One or Two Ianto Broke  
**Author**: iantojjackh  
**Summary**: I found this in the archive shortly after I started. I think you could a refresher on some of the rules, sir.  
**Rating**: M for Adult themes  
**Spoilers**: None  
**Warnings**: It's about sexual harassment and Janto use your imagination  
**Notes**: This was supposed to be based on the prompt from tardisjournal about Ianto's weapon training and it morphed into this. Hope you enjoy.

* * *

**_Ianto's Rules of Sexual Harassment in Workplace and How Jack Broke Five of Them and the One or Two Ianto Broke_**

Ianto quietly knocked on Jack's office door and waited until he was granted admittance.

"You know you don't need to knock," Jack tried to flirt with the younger man, but Ianto remained unmoved. "Okay, is this the game we are going play?" The captain sat straight up in his chair and cleared his dry throat. Jack's face was as professional as it could get.

"I found this in the archive shortly after I started. I think you could use a refresher on some of the rules, sir." Ianto said in a cold and detached voice. It easily dropped the temperature of the room five degrees. "You will be tested on them in the morning," the Welshman was still stoned faced despite the evil smirk growing inside, threatening to make an appearance.

It was very difficult to keep a straight face once Jack looked horrified and put off by his authority being questioned. "Have a good evening, sir," Ianto turned on his heel and was gone before Jack even looked at the paper he had been given. A wide smile crossed Ianto's lips once Jack he was down the stairs and off to his hiding spot.

A boisterous laugh followed when the wicked man heard Jack yell, "It's not harassment if you enjoy it." Ianto was glad Jack could not hear his laughter. He had to make sure the naughty Captain Harkness believed he was serious about the rules.

Jack looked at the faded yellow paper with a musty smell and wondered what Ianto was up to. Jack picked off the tiny sticky note that was attached and read it aloud.

_Think of a time you broke each of these rules. -I_

"Isn't this harassment?" Jack knew Ianto would not have gone too far.

**Torchwood Sexual Conduct Guide- First revision: 23 September 2006. Second revision: 14 July 2007 Fiftieth revision: 7 August 2011**

* * *

_**1. Weapons training shall not be used as an excuse to cop a feel of new hires.**_

Jack remembered that day vividly. It had been Ianto's second week when Jack told him to ditch the suit for the day and to wear the outfit he had worn the first night they met. The clothes did not matter, but the horny captain wanted an excuse to see Ianto in the irresistible outfit again.

Jack saw how tense the young man was and tried to put him at ease with flirty behaviour which only made the situation worse. It was the first time in a long while that anyone had rebuffed his flirting.

"I didn't receive any weapons training in London, but I'm sure this isn't right," Ianto swallowed hard as the strong hands came to a rest on his hips. Ianto's heart beat faster and faster as each warm breath Jack expelled tickled the back of his neck until it felt his heart would pound out of his chest. Sweat formed at the edge of the Welshman's hairline when Jack's body became flush with Ianto's as his hands played his sides as a concert pianist plays a piano.

"Loosen up a bit. You aren't going to hit anything if you are so stiff." Jack resisted the urge turn Ianto around and make this a lesson on kissing instead of weapons.

Ianto felt a lump form in his throat that would not go away and it got tighter as the room felt like they had entered a desert. "You are one to talk about being stiff." The Welshman snapped as he felt something very stiff press into his backside. Ianto's heart started to race so quickly that he thought he might pass out and sweat blanketed his forehead, dripping and clouding the man's vision as the salty liquid burn his eyes. A slight shift of Jack's body caused his rock hard erection to dig in further. The blood rushed away from Ianto's northern head to his southern one. The sudden blood rush caused the young man to lose consciousness and weapons training after that day was taught by Suzie.

What happened that day was never spoken of ever again and if Jack ever dared to bring it up, the punishment severe...decaf for a week and later on: no sex for two weeks.

* * *

_**2. Photocopying one's private parts and emailing them is not acceptable behaviour.**_

Ianto nearly dropped the tray of hot coffee with Owen's sudden outburst of, "What the fuck?"

"There is no need for such vulgarity so early. Oi, my virgin ears," Ianto scolded the medic with a wry smirk.

Owen gave a loud snort of disbelief, "There is nothing virgin about you, Jones. Do I need to remind you about the hothouse the other day?"

"No, I remember it quite well." The Welshman had a fond smirk on his face as he licked his lips. "Now, what has you so crotchety so early?"

"Some weirdo's idea of a sick prank," Owen frowned and huffed as he showed the picture of a large penis.

"I think that sounds a bit like jealously to me. Perhaps if you had something like that to go home to you would not be so miserable all the time," Ianto patted Owen on the back as his gaze shifted up toward Jack who was standing just outside his office.

"Fuck off. If I had that at home I wouldn't be able to walk." The medic crossed arms over his chest, amplifying his sour mood. "Where do you think you are going?" He asked as he watched the younger man walk off.

"Walking home!"

* * *

**_3. Complimenting one's clothes is not harassment in itself, but mentally undressing complimentee while complimenting them is _****_as is staying and staring if you walk in on them half dressed._**

"You look good in red." Jack stared appreciatively at the half-dressed man who only wore a red dress shirt that had yet to be buttoned.

"Is there something I can help you with, sir?" Ianto cupped his hands in front of him so the lecherous captain could not see what he had no right to see.

"Oh, I'm good. More than good." Jack looked like a typical old pervert, checking out a pretty young thing. "Can you turn around, Ianto?"

"Sir, I do believe you are drooling. Shall I have Owen examine you to make sure there are no medical problems? Excessive drooling in someone your age is not normal and really should be checked out by a medical professional." Ianto said in a deadpan voice and gave birth to his classic eye roll.

* * *

_**4. Sexual innuendos make everyone uncomfortable. They are not as funny as one thinks. **__**Maybe sometimes they are.**_

It had been a quiet week with no rift activity whatsoever and everyone was feeling a bit stir crazy.

"It's too big. It won't fit." Gwen sighed in frustration.

"You're sticking it in the wrong hole." Tosh replied with a pant followed by a tiny yelp of pain.

Those words got Jack's attention big time and he popped his head over to see what was going on. "Need any help inserting that properly?"

"We've got it, Jack. Thanks." Tosh replied in a strained voice.

"You should give it a little twist. Maybe grease it up a bit and it will slide right in," Jack said cheekily.

"We tried that already. I just won't fit." Gwen grunted as she gave up and sunk floor, her face full of defeat. "Ianto is going to kill us when he gets in."

"Why don't you break the news to him." Gwen pleaded as both her and Tosh batted their eyelashes at their boss.

"Ianto likes you best. He won't be so mad at you." Tosh reasoned.

"What they mean is that you need to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness ." Owen added, shaking his head.

"What you really mean is get on my knees and suck up to him," Jack could not resist himself. The comment had begged to be made.

"Morning," Ianto chirped, laughing as he typed something on his phone. He did not let on he had witnessed the whole exchange, let alone record it on his phone.

"Look we can explain...well Gwen can," Jack slid over to Ianto's side and placed a quick peck on his lover's cheek, buttering him up before breaking the bad news. "What do you have there?" He pointed to the box tucked under the Welshman's arm, trying to distract Ianto's attention away from Gwen and Tosh.

"The part to fix the coffee machine. It finally came in this morning." Ianto could not stop laughing, clearly everyone else was out of the loop of what Ianto found so hilarious.

"What gives?" Gwen asked, wanting to know what was so funny. It was obviously more than just than amusement of watching try to fix an already broken coffee machine.

"Just sharing a little video I recorded of what just happened with Rhys," There was the evil smirk that made everyone's heart skip a beat.

* * *

_**5. Erect penises are not to be used in games of ring toss.**_

It was not a night Jack wanted to remember. Neither did Ianto and Owen begged for Retcon. As for Gwen and Tosh, they giggled like school girls when Rhys dropped off doughnuts the next morning.

To make a long and confusing story short and to save what was left of the men's dignity, the previous evening involved way too much scotch, doughnuts and a very x-rated version of ring toss.

Some of the highlight quotes from the evening were:

'_Stop wasting the doughnuts, your dick will not fit through the hole.'_

'Get it hard again. I can't toss the ring over a limp cock.'

'Trust us. We've done this before.'

'Oww. I think you broke it. Why'd you use that? Is it bleeding?'

To add insult to injury the girls walked in just as Jack and Ianto were applying ice to Owen's swollen, but not hard, manhood.

Not the best night for being a man inside Torchwood...or was it Touchwood...or maybe Ring Around the Wood.

* * *

_**6. Clothes are to be worn at all times in the archives.**_

Jack read the last rule with a confused look on his face. He scratched his head, trying to recall a time he had broken that rule. Jack was sure that was one line he had never crossed since Ianto had started at Three, five years ago and it had not been from a lack of trying since he and the former archivist became a couple. He took the rule as a hint to where Ianto might have scurried off to.

Jack was in for quite shock when he opened the door to the archives. His first instinct was to laugh, but he stopped himself and instead licked his lips at the delicious display before him.

Ianto was spread out naked on the table with sheets of papers covering strategic spots. It was Jack's office fantasy come to life. The only thing missing was the photocopier, but he could do without.

"Come here," Ianto growled animalistically as he slapped the wooden ruler against his thigh. "I broke the rules and need to be punished, sir. You need to make sure I learn my lesson." He made his Welsh vowels as erotic and hypnotic as possible.

"Oh, naughty naughty, Ianto," Jack played along, undressing as he approached the table. "Just how bad have you been?" He picked up a stapler and pressed the cool metal object against Ianto's cheek and slowly and tantalisingly run it over the Welshman's heated skin.

Ianto breath hitched and his eyes darkened with passion, flashing the trust he had in his partner not to hurt him. "You were right, offices can be exciting. Think of all you can do with office supplies. Binder clips as nipple clamps. Using a ruler to spank. Tape to tie up. Paper clips as a cock ring. Rubber bands to make a whip or ball gag. The list goes on and on."

"I bet you have a list made already."

"Maybe. You just have to find it or experiment and make you own." Ianto knew the one thing Jack could not turn down was a challenge and this was one challenge the captain gladly accepted.


End file.
